Mentoring vs. Coaching

Mentoring and coaching, commonly referred to as life coaching, involve two very different skill sets and approaches to helping others achieve their goals.

A mentoring relationship is mainly about bringing forth the mentor’s skill, knowledge and experience. The mentor is the expert and imparts his wisdom and experience to help the client grow and become stronger in those same areas.

Meanwhile, a coaching relationship is more about bringing forth the client’s knowledge and experience. The client is the expert and the coach acts as a catalyst to draw out the best in the client. Of course, this assumes that the client is healthy and whole.

For this reason, I’ve learned that someone seeking help for issues like sexual compulsivity or addiction and their partners is better served, at least initially, by working with a mentor instead of a life coach. Over time, as you heal and become healthier while progressing through the recovery and support process, it might become more beneficial to work with a coach who can motivate and encourage you and hold you accountable for reaching new goals. But recovery from a serious disorder like sexual compulsivity and addiction, whether it’s yours or your spouses, takes time and requires learning special skills in order to become “healthy and whole” – the prerequisite qualification for being a candidate for life coaching.

In addition, most life coaches haven’t personally experienced the unique nature of sexual addiction and recovery, and as such are ill-equipped to handle the demands of someone entering recovery or a spouse or partner living in chaos. Most wouldn’t have a clue what to look for or how to hold either accountable in key areas of their lives, or how to help spouses and partners navigate their way through the landmines that lie before them.

That’s why I focus on mentoring vs. life coaching in my practice. Because I’ve found it’s what most people who come to me for help really need – someone to help show them the way to freedom.